Wedding Rings Is A Handcuff

Confession from a heart-broken girl/woman when their partner was cheating on them.

If a person perhaps knew everything that had happened in the past, the very question that such person would ask is how did it happen that we are still together.  The simple answer to that is because that was what we choose, to be and that's what we choose to do.

It was true that some would say cheating, it was dead end.  You would have to have limits as to loving somebody and the easiest way is to bail out.  But i had my flaws too.  I had at the very least abandoned them (a person).  I allowes it happen because I settled for the security that is marriage and I thought nothing would change because I had banked them (A person).  I had tie them (a person) down but it really isn't like that.

The road to here wasn't easy, that I can confidently say so.  But then again the reason why I am married to them (A person) is because i love them (a person), that is the ultimate reason why I forgave them (a person).  Maybe it's not the same for everybody.

After everything that had happened, i promised them (a person) I would try, but I got tired of trying and I felt like instead of just trying I should be doing it.  What I should've promised was to just do it, to just fix it with them (a person), because trying is like being half hearted.  I felt tired of being mad, of being angry, being doubtful and of being afraid.  I just wanted to feel the good feeling of being with them (a person) because after all the anger, the doubts, the fears and they (a person) finally there.  That is the time that I felt most peaceful, most secured.  It was with them (a person) that I felt that, only them (a person, no-need-to-be-named).

The easy way would've been to end it and leave them (a person, no-need-to-be-named), find another person who would make me happy, who wouldn't do what they (a person, no-need-to-be-named)  did and forget everything and not to think about it and about them (a person, no-need-to-be-named). 

But ultimately, if you think about it, at one point in your life you chose that person, to be with ready for yourself to wake up in the morning with the same person everyday of your life, that even if you would want to wake up only with yourself you won't because not only would you always be together but in concept and in heart, you are one and like a dollar bill, you can't just be torn apart, because tearing it apart would render the other half use less. I thought about it many times, would I love another person the same way, I knew I won't, and I would always wonder what would've happened if I stayed.

To err is human and to forgive is divine. When people get married, they pledge, they promise, they commit to that person, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part. But what really is better and what really is worse. Rethinking it, how easily some people would give up on marriages and just walk away after the other makes a mistake.

When we made this vow, more than the security more than the commitment, the driving force was love. I love them (a person), more than anyone else in the world and when the anger, the doubts, the hate, and the fears have faded and after letting go of it all, what remained in my heart was love. Because that's what I chose to feed, to grow and continued to harbor and all through those times, I felt loved too, because behind all the things that had happened, We, in this marriage. resemble a pair of shears, so jointed together that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions yet always punishing anyone who comes between them. That's what we did with everything that happened and i can confidently say we are now stronger, and if someone was to ask whether it will happen again, I would say, we would do our best for it not to.

I love them (a person),  and them (a person),  loves me and we are holding on to this love tightly as we ever imagined we could and somehow, that's all that matters.
 

I know right?  That was a very distressful confession.  And yet it does show how brave and stronger she has been.  I spend my time to try to understand what it must feel when your partner was cheating on you.  I try to create the strong role model on the back of my head.  Just in case, just in case…

But when I did this, I just can’t keep the piece together like a month.  I really want to understand the situation (about the pain that a girl/woman have to face when their couple/partner was cheating on them).  It was for my journal actually.

Happy to dig in:)