Confession of Lonely Human

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head.  They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed.  Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone.  There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain.  An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?  And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?  And will you never try to reach me?  It is I that wanted space.

Hate me today.  Hate me tomorrow.  Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you. Hate me in ways hard to swallow.  Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you.

In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night.  While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight.  You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate.  You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take.  So I’ll drive so far away that I never cross your mind.  And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind.

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave.  Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made.  And like a baby girl I never was a woman.  Until I saw your dark eyes cry and I held your face in my hand and then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”  Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be.  Then you whispered “How can you do this to me?”

This Place Is Your Home

Settle down, it will all be clear.  Don’t pay no mind to the demons because they fill you with fear.  The trouble it might drag you down.  If you get lost you can always be found.  Just know you’re not alone cause I’m going to make this place your home.

Homeward Bound/Home - Glee

Dedicated to someone who:

1. Just lost someone important in their life.
2. Just lost their strength, faith and hope towards something or someone.
3. Still think that they were alone in this world.
4. Still looking for themselves in every corners of someone’s shadow.
5. Feel they were lonely.
6. Were crying over something and yet it was nothing.

Playlist Files: My Top 30 Extraordinary Roller-coaster Inspirational Love Songs

As a writer, words, especially lyrics, resonate with me and feed my soul.  The power of words never ceases to amaze me; they can pump you up, tear you apart, leave you breathless or empathize with you when you need it the most.  My father work around Europe for his entire life and when he come back home, he always bought a cassette from various artist like Celine Dion, Abba, The Kelly Family, even Britney Spears’s first album.

So, at the age of 11, listen to westerner’s music was my hobby.  At that time, I don’t understand what they have said or meant in their lyrics but I keep listening to it.  That was when I know that I loved music.  When I was in high school, I understand the westerner’s lyrics in their songs and once I understand it, I embrace it – because they were describe what I felt and what I have been through in this beautiful word.

I was 21 when I bought my first laptop. I downloaded so many songs and also tried to recover all the songs that I have been listening when I was a kid. Since I have a very big collection of music, I bought myself a hard drive but now it sits in my drawer with the dreaded sad-face, meaning the hard drive is shot.  I had a matching sad face for months.

Honestly, I was one of truly luckiest person alive because I manage to copy (not all files but still lucky) before it been worse. I take the experience as a lesson so now, I have 2 hard drives.  Safer that way, I guess.

Scrolling through what seem like a millions of songs, I can clearly pinpoint each and every stage of my life throughout the past years.  There were those when I was on top of the world with happiness, others when I was trying to find myself and some where life had become too much, too soon.  Like a scrapbook (but I don’t have one), my hard drive is infused with memories, dates, and emotions.

I have many categories of playlist like Hurt Playlist, Cooking Playlist, Jogging Playlist, Up Playlist, Down Playlist, Damn Good Lyrics Playlist, Touching Inspirational Playlist, Move on Playlist, Extraordinary Roller-coaster Inspirational Love Playlist and even Break up Playlist.

I think I like to share with you my Extraordinary Roller-coaster Inspirational Love Playlist for the ladies/ guys that so in the cloud – smiling, giggling and chuckling or crying and yelping for some extraordinary roller-coaster inspirational love moments.  Words and lyrics are the beauty in the song of life.  What’s your song?

  

Corner – Allis Moss

You Got A Way –Kris Allen

Two at the Time – Shelly Fraley

I Won’t Give Up – Jana Kramer 

 Leave YouAlone – Kris Allen

Time To Be Your 21 – Alexz Johnson 

 To Make You Feel My Love – Kris Allen (version) 

 Longest Night – Howie Day 

 In My Veins – Andrew Belle 

   Volcano – Phillip Phillips 

   Teach Me How Love Goes – Kris Allen 

  The Truth – Kris Allen 

  Almost Lover – A FineFrenzy

You Lost Me – Christina Aguilera

Try – Zach Berkman 

 Love’s To Blame – Joel & Luke 

 Breathe Again – Sara Bareilles 

   Think Twice – Celine Dion 

  Enchanted – Taylor Swift 

 Last Kiss – Taylor Swift

Better in Time – Leona Lewis 

  Un-break My Heart – Toni Braxton 

 Why Am I Crying – Molly Sanden 

 Drunk – Ed Sheeran 

 Ache – James Carrington 

 For You – Angus & Julia Stone 

  For You – Peter Bradley Adams 

  The Scientist – The Scientist - Coldplay/ Glee Version 

 Moments – One Direction  

Run – Snow Patrol